Torn

So today looked a little like this:

-- Woke up excited.  My friend from high school has made fabulous progress on her weight loss journey and she was calling me to let me in on her secret.  Maybe this would finally be it.

-- 1:00 pm.  It's her!!

-- 1:45 pm.  Plan wasn't what I was expecting at all.  In fact, it's something I said I'd never do.  It's sort of a mix between Nutrisystem (prepackaged food) and 21-Day Fix.  Would I achieve results?  Yes and they would be quick.  But what is the long term price? The idea behind the program is to teach you to eat properly, but you're married to the program and purchasing products even after you've lost the weight.

-- 3:00 pm.  Looked up other sites recommended to me.  Actually really agreed with everything they had to say.  Weight training and proper nutrition are the way to a healthy lifestyle.  This would be the BEST way to do it.  Problem is, it's also the hard way... which I have already tried repeatedly and failed.

-- 4:00 pm.  Broke down in tears as I messaged one of the bloggers about my story and asked what kind of support they offered.  Looks like there is a community, but if it's purely about exercise and not nutrition, I need to look elsewhere.

-- Now.  I'm honestly torn.  I want to do this the "right way." I know that hard work and a will of iron is the way to combat this, but I'm tired of trying, failing and not getting results.  I'm breaking down and getting desperate.  The "easy way out" with fast results is becoming more and more enticing.  I know it still wouldn't be easy, but somehow I feel that it's cheating - that I'm turning my back on everything I intellectually know to be true.

So I ask you... Does the end result justify the means?  Is one way really better than the other if they both help me reach my goal?

I suppose I'd better pray and sleep on it.  Everything might look different in the morning.