Uphill and Into the Wind

Day 187

Yesterday was my long run. I was so excited. I love my long runs. I hadn't had a good run in a while and I just knew this one was going to be great. Sure, my knees hurt and my quads were still sore from Thursday's workout, but I knew that once I settled into my stride - which takes about a 1/2 mile - this run would be epic.

And it was. Just not the way I'd hoped...

About 2 miles into my 6 1/2 mile run, I was heading uphill (which to a real runner is still flat, but to me is a mountain) and the wind picked up. My jog slowed to a "is-she-really-running-or-just-doing-some-weird" trot. My energy drained quickly as I mustered up every ounce of will-power I had just to keep from walking. By the time I hit mile 4.5 I was exhausted and had no choice but to walk on and off for the remainder of my run.

My epic run had turned into an exhaustive battle.

I'm not sure why I thought it would go any differently. This run was perfect metaphor of last week in general.

Monday was great. I weighed in and had lost 50 pounds. I started my little experiment. I was excited to make strides and see improvements.

Then Tuesday hit.

Really, overall, there was nothing wrong with Tuesday. It was a good day. I met with my trainer and instead of a workout, we worked on a new training schedule so that I wouldn't have to worry about repeating things with him that I did the previous day and to help with knee recovery time. (Don't worry. I kicked my own butt afterwards.)

Then he asked what my calorie goals were right now. I showed him my 3-day food analysis that I had just done for my course and he frowned. Apparently I'm not eating enough calories for my size and activity level/lifting load. I had to up my calories to 2000.

Now, my calorie target is was 1700, but up until I changed my nutrition goals last week, I would usually get in 1400-1500. Essentially he's asking me to eat 300-600 more calories when I was already feeling satiated. The idea scared me to death that I would retain it, but he - with back-up from another trainer - talked me into trying it for 2 weeks with the disclaimer, "This is not about whether you gain a pound, but how you FEEL."

Okay, so I how felt the first couple days is that I was eating ALL THE TIME. I was positive that I was overeating. Then I made the mistake of stepping on the scale and I had gained back 5 pounds. FIVE!!

Yeah! Freak-out time!

I had to keep reminding myself that not only did I like my trainer, but that I trusted him. I kept up with what he asked me to do, but vowed that I would train 3x harder to make up for it. When I wasn't able to do that on Friday, the anger set in. I was angry for no apparent reason. I wasn't really angry at my trainer. I wasn't angry at my weight gain. I wasn't angry at anyone or anything in particular. I was just angry, but I stuck to my 2000 calories anyway.

Enter Saturday.

I NEEDED this run. It was going to clear my head and put me in a good spot.

All it did was make me need a nap.

I did, however, re-lose those 5 pounds, so at least I can say I lost 50 pounds again. Must have been hormones or water.

Things are better today. I'm still not a myself 100%, but I'm beginning to even out. Here's to an easier week this week...

Hopefully. ;-P